The Authoresses of DBZ
by Kittioto
Summary: ..This story has been discontinued due to massive writer's block.. In my opinion a terribly funny take on the authoresses of DBZ fanfiction fighting over the DBZ character they know and love in the DBZ realm. Never to be completed, but still worth a read
1. The Chaos Begins

(A/N: Something is WRONG with me. For I have made a self-insert with absolutely no plot what-so-ever. I just did this for fun!! My apologies to those who want to read something that has any meaning. ~_^)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own ANY of the authoresses mentioned in this fic… except for me!! ~Hugs herself~ I like being me! It's an excuse to be crazy. Now, I also do not own DB/Z/GT --- OR anything else aside from this: The Seigo Race idea! I'm making a non-DBZ related story about it, so please don't steal the name or anything!!  
  
  
The Crazy Authoresses Of DBZ  
  
  
  
  
Once upon a time, there were three crazed female fanfic authors, and they were very… author-like… with… fanfics…  
  
The first little authoress was Kittioto. She was short and timid in real life, but when approached with a key-board would mysteriously turn into a raving beast of flying keys and strange twisted ideas, many containing humorously crazy subjects and spoofs.  
Green eyes and auburn hair, she's lethal with a pen/pencil or keyboard. A Seigo from the planet… Seigo, she has the ability to change her outfit, hair color, and grow wings when around… certain people… and water.  
  
The second little authoress was Chestnut Wind. Tall and bold, she wrote many 'O adventure fanfics. A Saiyan Princess in the land of the make-believe, she also transforms into a Super Saiyan when angered, her big eyes turning aqua, and her already blonde hair bleaching madness. A temper to rival Vegeta's, she is a force to be reckoned with.  
  
The third little authoress was Jesscheaux. A Spectronian from the planet… Spectrum… she as well beholds green eyes like Kittioto. With the amazing ability to change skin colors with her mood, she can also turn into a super being and grow wings. Another authoress with strange and creative ideas, you don't want to anger her, nor the other two…  
  
  
One day these three authoresses were together, for some unknown, crazy reason, and they came across Capsule Corp., for some unknown, crazy reason.  
  
  
  
"What are we doing here…?" Jesscheaux asked the other two authoresses.  
  
"Beats me… but hey, I'm not complaining. We're at CAPSULE CORP., gals!!" Chestnut Wind looked up at the looming building.  
  
"True, true." Kittioto, a woman of few words, added.  
  
"Hmm… I think we should go in!!" Chestnut Wind, of course.  
The other two authoresses nodded simultaneously and thus, they headed to the front door!  
  
  
… And stared at it…!  
  
  
"CW… you knock." Kittioto said flatly, glancing at her pal.  
  
"What? WHY ME? You knock."  
  
"No, YOU knock… did you forget? YOU suggested to go in."  
  
CW put her hands on her hips, looking tempered. "You guys agreed!"  
  
"FINE! I'll knock! Buncha chickens…" Jesscheaux sighed and knocked on the door.  
  
After a few moments, they were greeted by Bulma, the blue-haired wonder.  
"Hello…? Oh, you're not some of Vegeta's beer buddies… are you?"  
  
The three authoresses exchanged quizzical glances.  
  
"Um… n.. no. See, we're here at Capsule Corp. looking for inspiration on our new stories. Could we come in and check it out?" CW responded slyly. For they were really here to REEK HAVOC!!  
  
"OOOOOH… you saw that tournament with Vegeta in it, didn't you?" Bulma sighed and slumped over. "It never ends… well, I guess. Come on in. We have a couple of guests though, so please don't reek any havoc."  
  
  
  
!? *HOW DID SHE KNOW!!??? Ackness!!*  
  
!!!!!??????? *HOW DID SHE KNOW!!!!!!!!!????? I'll BLAST their heads off!!!*  
  
!?? *EEK! How did she know!? We're doomed!!*  
  
  
"You three coming in or not?" Bulma raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Sure!" They all sweatdropped and let themselves in.  
  
"Ooooooh… pretty." Kitt said automatically.  
  
"Big and powerful." Added CW.  
  
"Efficient and spacious." Remarked Jess. (Hope you don't mind the abbreviations, gals. ^_^**)  
  
  
Bulma placed her hands on her hips. "You three don't LOOK like reporters… no camera's, no note-pads… strange. Where do you keep all your info?"  
  
Jess smirked and tapped the side of her head. "It's all up here."  
  
"Oh well… okay. I'm going to go help ChiChi and Lunch make dinner… try not to reek havoc."  
  
!?  
!!!?  
!??  
  
With that Bulma headed into the kitchen, leaving the three authoresses to discuss things with themselves.  
  
"How does she know we're here to reek havoc!?" Jess yelped.  
"That's what I want to know!!! We can't reek havoc if they're EXPECTING it!" CW hissed.  
"I specialize in STEALTH!" Kitt whined at the both of them. "This isn't working!"  
"Oh, really, I hadn't noticed…"  
"We need a game plan." Jess spoke up once again.  
"Agreed."  
"Oh wait, didn't Bulma say that ChiChi and Lunch were here??" A light bulb appeared above CW's head.   
"Yeah.. so?"  
"You know what this means, don't you???" CW leaned in closer to the two other crazed authoresses.   
"We need popcorn to watch the cat fights??"  
"NO Kitt, it means that the rest of the Z Gang may be here as well! Right CW?"  
"Correct!" CW nodded in confirmation.  
  
They talked a while more before pulling out of their huddle with strangely evil grins on their faces.  
  
  
  
  
  
"Oh LUNCH, your nails are DEVINE! Where ever did you get them done at?" Bulma gazed longingly at Lunch's perfected bright red nails.  
  
"Don't be silly, Bulma! These are natural." Lunch continued to slice up the beef with a sharp steak knife.  
  
"That's ABSURD! No nails are THAT perfect." ChiChi chimed in from her cooking station.  
  
"Oh, but they are! … You're not accusing me of LYING, are you ChiChi?" Lunch stopped to look at ChiChi.  
  
"Well, no, of course not, Lunch!" ChiChi continued with her designated station of cooking cabbage, asparagus, and carrots.  
  
Lunch seemed happy enough with that answer and went back to her slicing duties.  
  
"But… you know… they are really WAY too perfect to be real…" ChiChi rambled on.  
  
"They ARE real! I can't believe you two!!" Lunch huffed and put down her duties, evacuating the room to see her hubby Tien for encouragement.   
  
"Sheesh, what side of the bed did SHE get up on this morning?" Bulma asked ChiChi sarcastically.  
ChiChi giggled quietly.  
  
"They really are fake, I swear it."  
"I agree, ChiChi."  
"It's a good thing, too… I'm relieved to hear it."  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"  
"Nothing, nothing…"  
  
Bulma gave ChiChi a stern look, but let it lay. Now was not the time for a quarrel with her fellow female friend.  
  
  
  
  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
  
  
"I don't UNDERSTAND! Where on EARTH are the rest of the Z dudes??" Kitt said in total aggravation and popped her head into yet another CC door room.   
  
"They're not here, either!" Jesscheaux called from the other side of the building and across the hallway.  
  
"Here either!" CW called from downstairs somewhere. Then, suddenly, a high pitched scream emitted from downstairs.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!"  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! Hey, who're you???"  
  
CW, the original screamer, glanced at the strange female before her.  
"I'm Chestnut Wind. Who on EARTH are you!?"  
  
  
*'Chestnut Wind'? What a stupid name…*  
"My friends call me DD, but YOU can call me Dark Dragon."  
  
*Dark Dragon…? What a stupid name…*  
  
"Hey, what's goin' on down there!?!" Kittioto hollered from the upstairs hallway, soon accompanied by Jesscheaux.  
  
"Are you in trouble!?" Jess asked worriedly.  
  
"We're fine!" CW hollered back.  
  
"Who's 'we'?"  
  
  
Things went on like that before they all used their super-minds to all be downstairs so they didn't have to yell.  
  
  
  
"DD! How'd you get here?" Kitt grinned and cocked her head to one side.  
  
"That's a good question, wish I knew." DD put her hands on her hips and looked at the other three authoresses. "Quite an assembly we got here."  
  
"You could say that…" Jess mumbled. "Hey, you seen any of the Z guys around here?"  
  
"Uh, no… I've been wondering around this place for about five minutes is all, but I don't remember seeing any tall handsome muscular hotties.  
  
All authoresses but DD sweatdrop.  
  
"What…?"  
  
"Um… nothing, nothing at all." Kittioto sweatdropped again.   
  
"I guess we're just going to have to look har----" Jesscheaux started but left her mouth hanging open as she looked past the other three.  
  
"What was that, Jess? Did you want to say som----" Kittioto also started but was stopped in mid-sentence as she followed Jesscheaux's gaze and looked past the other authoresses.  
  
Large hearts formed in both of their eyes as DD and CW gave them equally confused glares.  
  
"There's something wrong with them." DD stated flatly.  
  
"I agree." CW stated equally flatly.  
  
"You know, the answer lies right behind us, whatever it is."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Why don't you look first?"  
  
"What..? NO! YOU look first!"  
  
"CHIIIIICKEN…"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Booock bock bock BAAAUUUUUCKKKK!!!"  
  
"I'LL BLAST YOUR HEAD OFF CW!!!!"  
  
  
  
  
"Both of you SHUT UP!" A gruff voice bellowed from the hallway.  
  
Yes, indeed, leaning up against a wall, was thee, one and only, incredibly handsome and oh so fine but intelligent Namek: Piccolo.  
  
Jess and Kitt still stood there, gazing on in awe, humongous hearts covering their eyes.  
  
*He's so fine!*  
*So strikingly handsome!*  
*So unique!*  
*So intelligent!*  
  
  
*SO GREEN!*  
*SO GREEN!*  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: Where ever am I going with this story??? I made this out of pure fun, so I can't say whether or not new chapters will be out anytime soon. ^_^** Oh yeah, CW, DD, or Jess, if you don't want this story up I'll just take it down!! No problemo. Well, now that you've read all this.. you may as well… review. ~Grins slyly~ Oh yeah, and I'll probably wind up added more authoresses!! 'Cause I'm crazy. Stay tuned for more chapters, chicka's! Any ideas are also welcome.) 


	2. Get a GRIP!

(A/N: As for those who may be lost, wondering, and confused: Jesscheaux's name is pronounced "Jeh-shay" – or at least I'm pretty sure. ^_^** And so, we continue with the madness of it all…)  
Disclaimer: Hey! Guess what!? Akira Toriyama GAVE me DBZ! Isn't that nice? Apparently, he thought I was worthy, and gave me Piccolo, too! PLUS all his stocks and bonds! …. NOT.  
  
Finish Date: April 9th, 2002  
By: Kittioto  
  
  
The Authoresses of DBZ  
Chapter 2: Get A GRIP!  
  
  
  
  
*What a stud!*  
*What a hottie!*  
*Such a strategist!*  
*So intelligent!*  
*So quiet!*  
*So meaningful!*  
*So deep!*  
*So strikingly handsome!*  
*What a hottie!*  
*What a stud!*  
  
More strange female thoughts raced through Kitt and Jess' minds as they stared on at the mighty Namek.  
CW and DD both turned around, slightly awestruck.  
  
"Guess we didn't need to look for HIM after all…" CW scratched her head Goku-style, sending her long blonde hair rippling behind her.  
  
"YEAH! How'd he just APPEAR out of nowhere, anyway?!" Rambled DD.  
  
"Because he's all that." – Kitt,  
  
"Because he's PICCOLO." – And Jess.  
  
CW turned to look at them, an eyebrow raised in amusement --- and pity.  
"You two need to get a GRIP."  
  
Piccolo stared at the four girls like intruders at Area 51.   
"WHAT are you doing here?"  
  
"I forgot." Jesscheaux blinked.  
  
"I dunno." Kittioto blinked as well.  
  
"I'm sure that really helps him, girls." DD rolled her eyes. *Though I gotta admit… he IS a looker!*  
  
Chestnut Wind went up to Piccolo calmly and folded her arms, being her usual professional self. "We're uh… 'reporters'. Here to get some inspiration. Y'know where everyone else might be…?"  
  
"Oh… 'reporters'… so, you sure you don't mean that you're here to reek havoc?"  
  
!?  
!?!!!!  
!??  
!!!!!!??????  
  
"Um… no… no, not at all…"  
  
  
….. From the side-lines…..  
  
  
"Jesscheaux… he's mine…"  
"WHAT!? No way! Piccolo… is mine…"  
"No fair, I created this fanfic!"  
"Yeah, but I'm in it too!! Plus, you REALLY liked us together in TSR!"  
"But--- but--!!!"  
"He's mine, I tell you!"  
"I REFUSE!"  
  
"Alright, fine… there's only one way to reasonably settle this." Jesscheaux sighed and looked up at Piccolo, whom raised an eye-ridge, obviously not understanding what they meant when chattering about him being THEIR property.  
"Piccolo-chan, I ask a favor of you to settle a dispute with my fellow uh… 'journalist' here."  
  
"I don't DO favors. And I certainly hope that for your health's sake that you didn't just add 'chan' to my name."  
  
"Um… no… but please, it's quite simple. See, um… because um… because……….."  
  
"….?"  
  
"Er… because we BOTH want to interview you at the same time you're going to have to use your split-form technique and be TWO Piccolo's so we can BOTH hav.. have um… time to interview you!"  
  
Piccolo scowled back. "I will NOT be interviewed."  
  
"What..? Oohhhh, PLEAAASE?"  
  
Kitt slapped her forehead. *She's a GENIUS! I wish I'd thought of the split-form move!! D'oh.*  
Kitt stepped next to Jesscheaux and gave off heavy puppy-dog eyes directed at Piccolo. "Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaase????"  
  
"What…? NO!" Piccolo cringed back slightly at the sight of ultra-kawaii eyes. They were… noooo, they were GOHAN eyes!!!!!  
  
  
  
"OH MY WORD!!!!" CW abruptly ended the session and screamed, pointing to the back-door.  
  
"MY EAAAAAAAAARS…!!!" Due to Chestnut Wind's intensely high voice when used on purpose, Piccolo clutched his large delicate ears in pain. He REALLY didn't want to experience what he had in the Lord Slug episode of his life again.  
  
"TRUNKS-CHAN!!!" CW squealed in excitement.  
  
"WHERE!??" DD turned her head this way and that, nearly running into a wall, but finally finding his form pressed up against the back glass door, seemingly talking to someone.  
"EEEK! Trunks-san!!"  
  
However, Jess and Kitt were FAR too content on making sure Piccolo's ears were okay to care about the purple haired wonder dude.  
"Are you okay, Mr. Piccolo!?"  
"Piccolo-san, are you going to be alright!?"  
  
Piccolo leered at the two girls in shock and fright.   
*What are they doing… are they CARING for me, or ATTACKING me!?*  
  
"Piccolo, sir, is there anything we can do to help!?"  
  
A small, pause of discomfort, followed, as Piccolo gulped and stared at the two authoresses that possessed gigantic Gohan eyes.  
  
"You can get out of my face…"  
  
The two authoresses both blushed simultaneously and backed off.  
  
  
  
Jess and Kitt quickly looked around themselves to find the other two authoresses cat-fighting.  
  
  
"He's MINE I tell you!!!" CW barked at DD.  
  
"What makes you think that!? NOT IF I GET TO HIM FIRST!!" Dark Dragon barked back and bolted for the glass door.  
  
"NO!" CW took a leap of faith and snatched DD's ankle, sending them both toppling to the ground in a hairy mess of claws and yowls.  
  
  
Jesscheaux raised an eyebrow at the spectacle. "Think we should DO something…?"  
  
Kitt looked over to Jess and shrugged. "It's all good clean fun!"  
  
  
  
"He's MINE, ALLLL MINE!!!"  
  
"I'll get him before you!!"  
  
"OVER MY DEAD BODY!" More yowls were heard, and it was now impossible to tell the two rivaling authoresses apart.  
  
FINALLY, Dark Dragon and Chestnut Wind kicked each other off, sending themselves flying half-way across the room and in separate directions… both equally far away from the infamous glass door.  
  
Chestnut Wind drew a mighty glare at Dark Dragon as she scrambled to get back onto her feet, whilst Dark Dragon did the exact same thing.  
  
With a flash, they both took off for the glass door at the exact same time, and just as the half Saiyan 17 year old opened the door to go in, they had reached….  
  
  
  
  
"YAAAH!!!"  
"YAAAH!!!"  
  
Much to poor Mirai Trunks' pain, the two authoresses sprung him at the same time.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! THE ANDROIDS ARE BACK!" Petrified Mirai yelped in surprise as he was being jumped by not one, but TWO insane fanatics.  
  
  
Kitt glanced back at Jess after witnessing this. "And they thought WE needed a grip…"  
Jesscheaux chuckled thoughtfully.  
  
Piccolo used his usual glare/stare/neutral look in Mirai Trunks' direction, perhaps in slight pity.  
"Poor soul…"  
  
With the insane mess of lilac, blonde, and Dark Dragon's hair, Vegeta entered the room, stumbling upon the horrifying scene.  
"BRAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE PATHETIC HUMAN FEMALES!!??"  
  
Mirai Trunks paled at the sight of his father's angry expression.   
"It wasn't me, I SWEAR! Please HEE----EELLLPP!!!!!"  
  
"Weakling…" Vegeta murmured.  
Dark Dragon looked up from fighting over Trunks and at Vegeta. Automatic heart eyes appeared and she gazed on at the annoying Prince of all Vegetables.  
  
".... Veggie-baka…" She murmured quite fondly.   
  
Mirai Trunks blinked a couple times. "Does this mean you're gunna let me go…?"  
  
DD looked back at CW and MTrunks, and scowled. "NEVER!!"  
  
"You're just --- being ---- DIFFICULT!!!" An enraged and frazzled Chestnut Wind gasped through screeches and yelps while her and DD continued to fight over Trunks.  
  
"Father! Please!" Mirai begged Vegeta, holding out an arm from the mess of tangled authoresses.  
Vegeta stared on at the sight, his expression unreadable.  
  
Kitt chuckled from the side-lines. "Now you meet your destiny, young Sky.. er… Mirai Trunks." (A/N: This is what happens when my mother forces me to watch Star Wars five million times in a row to make sure that I "understand" the plot.)  
  
Jesscheaux looked at her strangely. "Shouldn't we… you know… help?"  
"Whatever for…?"  
"I don't know… but just LOOKING at them is painful. I think my eyes are forming a bruise."  
"Hmm… is does look rather uncomfortable. Well, even if we DO try to separate them, how?"  
  
Jesscheaux rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Well… there's brute strength… probably wouldn't work out too well…" No light bulb appeared over Jess this time and she sighed.  
"That's the only thing I can think of."  
  
Kitt scratched the back of her head in habit and stared at the ceiling. "Well… we could… OH! I know!!!"  
  
LIGHTBULB!!  
  
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The battling stopped momentarily as Kitt screamed through the forever-long shafts of CC.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaah!!!!" Poor Piccolo again covered his ears in obvious pain. Kitt's voice wasn't a particularly high one, but it was certainly loud enough.  
  
"Katie YUUUUUY!!!"  
  
"Ah, shut that foolish girl up!" Vegeta "commanded"(~cough~princess~coughcough~) the authoresses and whom ever beckoned to his call.  
  
  
Kitt stood there, seemingly waiting for something, and glanced over at Piccolo.  
".. You okay..?"  
Jess was already at his side and looking forlorn.  
  
Piccolo just muttered something under his breath and glared at a wall, with his arms folded in his usual "don't-touch-me" stance.  
  
Kittioto glanced back at a hallway, and she looked slightly brighter when she saw a form draw closer… and closer.. and closer… and… AAAH TOO CLOSE!!  
  
Katie Yuy, a fellow Piccolo freak, over-judged her speed and smacked right into Kitt.  
  
"OW!"  
"Gah!!"  
  
Jesscheaux's eyes grew wide and scampered over to the tangled authoresses. "You guy's okay!?"  
  
"… Ow." Kittioto replied, with a slight groan from Katie. Then they both got up and looked at Jess.  
Jess quirked an eyebrow and looked at Katie. "Who're you?"  
  
Kitt raised her hand like in classed and waved it in the air.  
  
"Yes Kitt?" Jess allowed.  
  
"This is Katie Yuy! She's a Piccolo fan too… and however much I hate to bring more competition in this, I think she can help with the uh… CW, Mirai, and DD quest."  
  
Katie said nothing as her eyes slowly glazed over to a certain someone.  
"AH! Is that who I think it is!?"   
  
Jess and Kitt grinned like idiots and looked over to Piccolo as well. Aaaaw, he's such a stud!! Especially in that "Don't-touch-me" position!!  
  
Crooked grins headed Piccolo's way as he finally stared back, a sweatdrop forming above his head.  
*What are they doing…?* Poor Piccolo, he had yet to experience oogling fan girls, and wasn't entirely sure WHAT they were doing.  
  
Kitt noticed Piccolo looking in their direction and faked a cough, not liking to be stared at. (Okay, so I don't like to be stared at!! It's… weird! So sue me!) "Um… ahem… well, I think we better help Mirai before his limbs are gone, no?"  
  
Katie snapped out of it momentarily and stared at Kitt. (STOP THE STARING!!)  
"Mirai…?"  
  
Kitt pointed at the on-going battle between the remaining authoresses. "DD and CW have been at it for a good 10 minutes now."  
  
  
  
  
"MIIIIIINE!!!!"  
"NEVAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
"Oh." Katie nodded. "Poor Trunks. What're we gunna do?"   
  
This time Jess looked away from Piccolo, whilst he was still staring at them, and spoke up. "We're gunna use brute strength!! No other way to go about it… hopefully then they'll calm down."  
  
"And," Kitt started, "With three against two, we should triumph!!"  
  
  
"Ooooh!" Katie nodded, and headed over to the mess.  
  
"Please… help!!" Mirai reached for Katie. Katie simply nodded at the poor guy, then turned back to the fellow Piccolo lovers. "Let's do this!"  
  
Kitt and Jess galloped over like a couple horses or something.   
"I'll take CW!" Kitt announced, looking interested at her long-been friend. "I know her weaknesses! … Well, to tell the truth, she's got none…! BUT I'LL TAKE HER ANYWAY!"  
  
Jess nodded. "That leaves me with DD I guess. I suppose Katie can grab Trunks and drag him away."  
  
The three Piccolo fans grabbed onto their victims, Katie with Trunks' arm, Jess with one of DD's ankles, and Kitt with her arms around CW's waist, all of them trying to tug them away.  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, KITT!!??" Chestnut Wind bellowed in frustration. "It's TRUNKS!!"  
"Just hold still, and make it easy for me!" Kitt yelped back, tugging for all she was worth.  
Unfortunately for Kitt, CW didn't mind her plea, and tugged the opposite direction.  
  
Jess was having problems of her own with Dark Dragon. *What a fire-ball! Good grief, man!* She thought, trying with all her power to drag her away.  
"LET GO YOU BAKA MORON, HE'S MINE I TELL YOU, MIIIINE!!!!!!!"  
DD wasn't helping things.  
  
Trunks however, had just plain given up and lay there like a sack of potatoes, waiting to be rescued. The hard part was trying to get the other authoresses off of him.  
Katie sweatdropped. *This is harder than it looks!!*  
  
With one last yank and yelp, the three different people were separated. Trunks was timidly dragged away by Katie over to a corner, suspiciously close to Piccolo. Why Piccolo wasn't helping, was beyond any of the people in the crowd, and Vegeta obviously thought it below him to help his future son.  
CW and DD were still not giving up though!  
  
"WOULD-YOU-JUST-CALM-DOWN!!???" Kitt shrieked, tightening her grip on Chessie.  
"LET ME AT HER!! DD, you're a DEAD woman!" She threatened through clenched teeth, hissing like a feisty/mauled cat.   
  
"OH YEAH!!??? Well I'm still breathing you little punk!! You want some of this, come GET IT!!" DD spat back, fighting Jess the whole way.  
  
  
After a few more rabid insults, the authoresses became very tired from all the fighting and calmed down a bit. Kitt and Jess let them go, but stuck close by just in case.  
With a flop on the ground, Jess, CW, Kitt, and DD all sat down and sighed.  
  
"Well…" CW said in exhaustion, "… I guess we'll have to do this the fair way." She glanced up at a still slightly frazzled and angry Dark Dragon.  
  
"And that is?" DD glared a bit at her.  
  
"The fair way. The natural. We'll let Trunks decide who he loves more by the end of the day! May the best woman win!!" *ME.* She thought silently.  
  
DD shifted her looks from anger to understanding. "Fine. We'll see who's better."  
  
  
Vegeta had now long-since left for the kitchen, hungered by the mere sight of fighting.  
  
Piccolo still leaned against a wall with the "Don't-touch-me" thing goin' on.  
  
Mirai was a few feet from Piccolo, sitting on the ground with Katie nearby, and his back to the wall, looking bewildered. *Why do I have to be so dang good lookin' and charming!?*  
  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED… (!)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
(A/N: HEY YA'LL! Whatcha think? Hem? Huh huh huh, didja like it, didja didja didja???? MWAHAHAHHA!! I put way too much chaos and general fun into this, so I don't know if ANY of it made sense! If it didn't: REVIEW! … However, if it DID: … REVIEW! If you didn't bother reading this because you thought it stunk: REVIEW! ~_^) 


	3. So Much Piccolo!!

(Supreme A/N: Alright um... I recently replaced this chapter due to some things in the original chapter three that was found offensive by a fellow authoress of mine, so I replaced that third chapter with an apology. NOW, I've gone basically back to the same original chapter three, only re-vamped it... much of it is still the same, but some things I've changed. That's all! Confused yet?)  
  
  
A/N: Well… you asked for it!!! And so you shall receive. I would like to know how this got popular all of a sudden!! Come now, are people REALLY that desperate to read pointless rambling? … ~No answer~ … Hmm… CAN'T SAY I BLAME YOU!!  
  
A/N2: HAH! I laugh in the face of plots!! The plotlessness of this plotless story is so… plotless!! WOOHOO! Hey, what's the point of plots anyway? Oh yeah… sanity… ~Hums innocently and stares at ceiling~ Uuuh… ANYWAY, the first part is a poem, which, if you don't like poetry… you obviously don't have to read. Hey, I don't care anyway! Really, I don't…! Okay, enough of my babbling… wait no! I'm not finished yet!!! First of all: Person signed in as "Piccolo, the green warrior of the universe" I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE!!! Poor me. I'm thinking DD… possibly Molly… (Chestnut Wind)… but I am young and naive and really not that intelligent!! ^_^** Maybe Katie… GAAAAH, I dunno!!! ~Bangs head on wall~ … Nikki?  
  
  
Disclaimer: ~Rolls eyes~ I am the supreme ruler of all abstract items and writings! I own everything! I am omnipotent. My mere hallux (Big Toe) can control your mind. It's laughing, can't you hear it?? Of course you can. Unless it doesn't want you to.  
  
  
The Authoresses Of DBZ  
Part 3: "So much Piccolo!!"  
Made By: Kittioto  
Finish Date: April 25th, 2002  
  
  
---  
  
  
  
On the last chapter of TAODBZ… (I DARE you to say that three times fast)   
  
  
  
  
"Piccolo-san, are you alright!?"  
  
Piccolo leered at the girls in shock and fright.  
  
For they were staring at him,  
With big bright eyes!  
Eyes that were huge,  
And held no lies.  
  
  
The image of Gohan,  
Haunted his mind,  
And he knew that soon,  
He would find…  
  
  
A force to be reckoned with!!  
The authoresses of DOOM!  
  
Bending mischievously over him,  
They continued to loom.  
  
Trapped like a bean,  
  
There he was.  
  
And he was scared of their presence…  
  
Um… just… because…(?)  
  
  
"You can get out of my face…"  
He muttered out.  
  
The two girls were embarrassed,  
And clouded with doubt.  
  
  
Now poor Trunks was in pain!  
The poor purple guy!  
Vegeta wouldn't help…  
  
The authoresses didn't know why!  
  
The catfight continues,  
  
The war rages on.  
  
Poor purple Trunks –  
  
Nothing but a really hot pawn. (~COUGH~)  
  
  
In the confusion, the battle,  
Help comes to their aid!  
Katie Yuy shows up,  
To stop the raid!  
  
  
They each grab their victims,  
And pull like mad.  
Trunks is tired,  
  
This scene is so sad.  
  
  
And I can't keep up with the rhyming,  
Plus it's growing late…  
Not to mention the stuff,  
I drink and I ate.  
My tummy hurts,  
So I'll stop this now,  
And get on with the fanfic…  
  
… and the catfight…  
  
  
MEOW!  
  
  
  
  
  
ON WITH THE FANFIC!!  
  
  
  
---  
  
Now for the REAL chapter 3:  
  
  
  
  
A few minutes passed after DD and CW calmed down a bit and settled to a reasonable agreement. Everyone seemed to be staring at their feet in "deep" thought. You know, like how they were gunna win their favorite DBZ hunk! (~_^ Am I scaring you yet?)  
  
Kittioto scratched her head and got back up, walking over to Mr. Piccolo.  
Piccolo leered down at her with his half-scowl thing…  
  
*He's so cute when he does that!!* Kittioto blushed shyly and spoke up….  
  
"So… you gunna do that split-form thingy so we can, eh, interview you??" Shining her biggest shiniest smile at him, she waited for the long… uh… awaited… answer.  
  
She didn't wait long.  
  
"No."  
  
Kitt's face fell into a slight frown, then she faked another grin. "That's okay! It's just you, I should know that you don't want your 'personal space' taken away from you, and you're not really fond of us humans, because, well, really, we're a bunch of idiots, and I won't push you! I like you just the way you are!!"  
  
Keeping his expression unreadable, he just STARED down at Kitt. "Okay."  
*There humans are cracked.*  
  
Kitt wandered back over to Jess and Katie, with a slightly solemn look on her face. "He's not gunna do it!"  
  
Jess and Katie's face fell slightly, disappointed by the unfortunate news.  
  
"So… we're going to just have to see who he likes best than, I guess!!" Katie chirped after a moment or two. "HMMMM, I WONDER who he'll pick…"  
  
"Yeah right, Katie! He PROBABLY thinks we're all a bunch of loonies, besides… he's a Namek. Sensitive, brave, so very wonderful, and good lookin'… but still a Namek! I doubt he'll choose ANY ONE of us." Jess frowned and stared at her feet.  
Kitt nodded silently.  
  
  
"Don't give up, girls!!!"  
  
All three of the Piccolo fanatics looked behind them to find a familiar face. Why… it was Nikki!! (AKA: Nikki I LOVE PICCOLO (- whahahahaha!!!))  
"Actually… come to think of it, sure you can. I'LL HAVE HIM ALL TO MYSELF!"  
  
Mirai raised an eyebrow from the sidelines. *I don't get these people…*  
  
  
"Nikki!! Eh..." Kitt paused, and stared at Nikki for a moment. "Em... when'd you get here?"  
  
"Why, I've been here all along!! Didn't you see me, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the right time to strike my victim and..."  
  
"Nikki, you're scaring me."  
  
"OH! Right, right. Anyway, I've been here a while."  
  
Jess and Katie exchanged glances that simply read 'Wha?' while Piccolo just stared off into empty space like he had nothing better to do. Which.. actually... he didn't! (^_^)  
  
CW and DD calmly waltzed over to the group, keeping a safe distance away from each other. DD tapped on Nikki's shoulder.  
  
"Yeah?" Nikki inquired. "What...?"  
  
"Eh... I was just wondering, Nikki, whom do you think deserves Trunks... me... or that baka CW?"  
CW gave DD a glare of death, then looked at Nikki hopefully.  
"I mean, you know, sense you've supposedly been watching this whole time." DD poked Nikki in anticipation.  
  
Nikki paused, thinking wisely, no doubt, then spoke up.  
  
"NEITHER!!"  
  
DD and CW both face-faulted in the typical anime way, forming sweatdrops.  
  
"SERVES YOU RIGHT!!" Mirai cackled from the wall. Chestnut Wind and Dark Dragon both gave him looks to kill immediately and he quieted down.  
  
"Poor guy..." Jesscheaux thought loudly, feeling a slight pang of pity for the purple dude. "Oh wait... I could say the same for Piccolo, heheheheheh!!!"  
  
Kitt, Katie, and Nikki all looked at Jess like she was insane and Jess quieted down too.  
  
"Well... isn't THIS dull!" Katie spoke up. "I say we all hug PICCOLO!!!"  
  
The three... no... aaaaaaaaaaaaaah... FOUR crazy Piccolo fans all smirked devilishly at the mere thought.  
  
"Piccolo..." Kittioto trailed off...  
"San..." Nikki continued for her...  
"Dai..." Katie added for effect...  
"SUKI!!!!" Yelled Jesscheaux in total thrill.  
  
A resounded "WOOHOO!!!" whopped through the room, echoing through it like Goku's head would be if you shouted through his ears.  
  
"... WAAAIIIIIT a minute! How can we squeeze Piccolo until he pops if he's... not... in the..."  
"...Room..." Jesscheaux looked around her, soon Dark Dragon, Katie Yuy, Kittioto, Chestnut Wind, and Nikki, following her gaze in curiosity.  
  
  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
  
  
"Let go of me, you whacko!!" Piccolo's faint screams echoed through Bulma's secret laboratory. Bats flew around the vast room like mosquitoes in July. (Wow, Capsule Corp is BIG!!!)  
  
"We're going to stop those reporter's arguing for good, mwahahahhaaa!!" Bulma cackled evilly.  
  
"HEY, where're you takin' me!??" Strangely enough, despite Piccolo's strength, he couldn't break free from Bulma's grasp on his ear. "NO! Let go!! … WHAT is THAT!!???"  
  
A horrified Piccolo was shoved into some sort of white capsule-like thing, and Bulma slammed the door on him. Piccolo peered out through the little capsule window in horror. "BUUUUUUUUUUUULMA YOU'RE SOOOO DEAD!!!!!!"  
  
Bulma chuckled, and let down her fluffy blue hair, sending it rippling behind her like she belonged in a Dude Nukem action game. "Dad said I should test it on a Guinea Pig or a plant first… but I'm sure there won't be any side-affects. Don't worry Piccolo, the worst thing to happen is your matter will disappear into millions of tiny fragments permanently!!"  
  
"WHAT!!?? LET ME OUT!!!"  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED…   
  
  
  
(A/N3: I always wanted to say that!! … Now go, be off, and before you do, REVIEW! Oh, I forgot to mention... ~Looks embarassed~ Yep Jess, I DID steal that name thing off your profile! Caught red-handed, what a disgrace...  
  
Again, I'm still sorry Nikki!! D'OH! I hope this chapter was a better replacement, lol. ^_^**  
  
But, as for Piccolo, WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!? Will I abruptly stop making this fanfic and all leave you in the dark, or do I have a plot lurking in my mind in a plotless story?? What's gotten into Bulma...? Little too much of Vegeta's pride? Too much Whisky? Find out in the next chapter.... maybe... WHAHAHHAA!! But first you have to review like good little readers!)  
  
  
  
  
__ 


	4. So Much Piccolo!! ... Literally.

A/N: FINALLY!!! The chaos continues once again!!! I'm back, bad, and with an attitude. Fresh with Piccolo, Trunks, and Veggie-Baka goodies. ~Cackles evilly~ --- You know the drill, read, laugh if at all physically possible, and proceed to click the shiny little review button. ^_^ Okay, so it's not shiny... but isn't shiny a FUN word??!  
  
FF.NET IS WORKING AGAIN!! Hear that? You know what, I don't think you did! FF.NET IS WORKING AGAIN!!!!!!! QUICK, POST SOMETHING BEFORE IT SHUTS DOWN AGAIN!!! ~Faints~  
  
A/N2: OH YEAH! By zee way... Dark Dragon is no longer Dark Dragon on ff.net... it's now one word, DarkDragon. ^_^ But she's still called DD, of course...  
  
Disclaimer: My Hallux still remains omnipotent. Everything is mine. In my wildest dreams, that is. ~Sigh~ Unfortunately, Piccolo is owned by the mighty Akira Toriyama, so I can only torture him SO much...  
The authoresses also own themselves... (Jesscheaux, Chestnut Wind, DarkDragon, Nikki I LOVE PICCOLO, Katie Yuy, MGRJTYAESSAIYAN, and me: Kittioto) ... I posess no rights on these people,(except me) BLAH BLAH BLAH... enjoy the chapter!! ^_^  
  
  
  
The Authoresses Of DBZ  
Chapter 4: "So much Piccolo!! ... Literally."  
Finish Date: June something or other, 2002  
Made By: Kittioto  
  
  
  
  
Jesscheaux scratched her head in total confusion.   
"He was here just a couple of minutes ago... do you... think he left because of us?" Looking over to the other authoresses, she searched for an answer in their eyes, but found none.  
  
"I don't know! But... we MUST find him!" Kitt raised a fist and shook it in the air. "As the creator of this fanfic, I DEMAND that Piccolo be in it!! It's a tradition, passed on from each of my fanfics, down the very blood lines of fanfictionism!!!"  
  
"THAT'S RIGHT!" Chirped Katie, "We CAN'T give up! In the name of Piccolo lovers EVERYWHERE, we must strive, thrive, jive, be alive, and... and... um... rive...? Together? Uh..."  
  
Kittioto gave Katie a dirty look. "There's only room enough in this fanfic for ONE poet, woman…"  
  
"Lighten up, Kitt!" DD laughed. "So, are we going to look for your fiiiine Piccolo or not?"  
  
CW raised an eyebrow. "Do you HONESTLY think she'd have it any other way?? She lives for this stalking business."  
  
Kitt, looking slightly offended, the ORIGINAL AUTHORESS, gasped. "STALKER, ME? NoooOOoo…"  
  
"Riiight, Kitt. Right."  
"Silence, Chessie… my toe is omnipotent…"  
"I LIKE CHEESE!!" Jess barked out of nowhere.  
"Behold the power of cheese…" Replied Katie, in an equally non-important dialogue fashion.  
Nikki grinned. "Cheese is yummy!!"   
"You're all CRACKED!" Added Trunks, from some distant corner.  
  
Chessie and DarkDragon grinned at him from afar.  
  
"… STOP THAT!!" Trunks cringed in his little corner, giving the authoresses weird looks. *It's bad enough that the girls at SCHOOL won't leave me alone…*  
  
"I SAY WE LOOK FOR HIM!!" Jesscheaux announced. "WE LOVE PICCOLO!! WE LOVE PICCOLO!! … C'mon, girls!! Do you call yourselves fans!!?? WE LOVE PICCOLO!! WE LOVE PICCOLO!!"  
  
DD and CW rolled their eyes, while the rest of the Piccolo FREAKS chimed in.  
  
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, calm down!" CW spoke up after a good chanting session, hoping to avoid the possibility of a riot.  
"We'll look for the beloved Piccolo!! Here… how about we split up? I'll go with Trunks, Katie can go with Nikki, and Kitt can go with Jess."  
  
DD's eyes FLARED. "YOU'RE CRAZY if you think I'm going to leave YOU alone with Trunks!!!"  
"Well it's better than leaving him with YOU!!" CW hissed in reply.  
"WHAT!!?? Oooh, FINE! He goes with neither!! We play it the 'nice' way, remember!?"  
Chessie grumbled something, but nodded.  
"Fine, I'll go with Kitt, JESSCHEAUX can go with Trunks!! DD, you can do… eh… WHATEVER, I don't care!!"  
  
DarkDragon growled competitively but let it lay. "Fine."  
  
  
Nikki slowly raised an eyebrow, and tugged on Katie's shirt. "Hey, let's go… maybe we'll find him first."  
Katie grinned like a truly crazed fangirl and nodded.  
  
Trunks sweat-dropped as Jesscheaux walked over to him. "Thank goodness you're in love with Piccolo."  
  
"Alright, let's SPLIT UP!!" CW, the unofficial leader hollered, dragging Kittioto with her.  
  
  
  
~~--~~--  
Some time later…  
  
  
  
"Dude, what brand of crack were the architects on when they built this place!?" Nikki complained rather loudly.  
  
"Good question." Katie replied, ducking her head into another empty room. "Who on earth would even WANT this much space? They must be LOADED…"  
  
"Well, they ARE the number one brand - original creators of the Capsule Car, Capsule Boat, Capsule Briefcase, and just about Capsule everything-else-you-could-possibly-not-want, you know. It's a pity they don't have this in the "real world"…"  
  
Katie nodded. "Yes, if only we could have yet ANOTHER modern convenience to modify our lazy abilities… buuummer."  
  
Nikki chuckled and ducked into a room.  
"Well, I think we covered this part of the house… oh, wait a second… what's this..?"  
  
Nikki wandered further into the room, and abruptly lapsed into hysterical laughter. "Katie, c'mere, QUICK!!!"  
  
Katie, 'QUICK', leaped into the room, soon staring bug-eyed.   
  
"IS THIS WHAT I THINK IT IS!!??"  
  
"I THINK SO!!"  
  
"WOW!"  
"WOW!"  
  
Immediately Nikki looked under the bed. "OH MY WORD!! Who would have ever thought that Mirai Trunks was an under-the-bed-shover!!!"  
  
"Really, what's he got under there!? A dead body!!??" Katie dropped next to her on the white carpet floor, full of curiosity about our purple-haired wonder boy.  
  
Grinning, Nikki just dug right in. "Well, let's see here… stinky socks… ripped purple jacket… a comb, and… OH MY GOODNESS!! SKIPPER!!"  
Laughing hysterically, Nikki dragged out a Beach-Ball Barbie Skipper doll.  
  
"NO WAY!!" Kate snatched the doll from Nikki's hands and examined it as if not to believe it real. "Future Trunks plays with BARBIE!!"   
  
Nikki grinned the most evil of all evil grins. "I am so keeping this as a souvenir…"  
  
  
  
~-~-~-~-~  
Meanwhile...  
  
  
  
"Who... in the name of the Saiyan heritage... are YOU?" Vegeta's eyes were slightly wide, but keeping that all so familiar lazy princely stare ahead of him on a certain crazy girl. (Oh right, like THAT'S descriptive... aren't we ALL crazy?)  
  
"I...I...I-I-I-I I I ..... I'M MOLLY!!" (AKA: MGRJTYAESSAIYAN - WHEW, that's hard to memorize...)  
  
"Okay. 'Molly'. Get away from me, 'Molly'."  
  
"Uh... … NO!"  
  
Vegeta's eyes grew dangerously larger.  
  
"You DARE to defy the prince of all Saiyans!!??"  
  
Molly dragged a foot on the ground and smiled shyly. "You're awfully cute when you're mad, Veggie-chan..."  
  
  
"WHAT!!?????"  
  
  
~-~-~-~  
Meanwhile somewhere else...  
  
  
  
"So. Jesscheaux. Think we'll find him first?"  
  
Jess grinned at Trunks, flashing her most wicked smile. "Oh, I HOPE so."  
  
Trunks laughed and scratched the back of his head, Goku-style.  
"This is just a big competitive treasure hunt for you girls, isn't it?"  
  
Jess continued to grin and looked ahead of her.  
"Say… Trunks… you know Piccolo, right?"  
  
"Well… kind of."  
  
"Right. Well… if YOU were Piccolo, where would YOU be?"  
  
Trunks looked particularly thoughtful a moment, then looked back down at Jesscheaux.  
"If I were Piccolo…"  
  
"Yeah…" Jess leaned closer.  
  
"I… would… DEFINITELY be…"  
  
"Uh huh…" Jess leaned so close she could feel the breath of the teen anime idol.  
  
"… Definitely…" Nothing but a whisper now, Jesscheaux pressed her ear right up to him.  
  
"… AWAY FROM FANGIRLS!!!"   
  
Jesscheaux fell back, all swirly eyed. "… OH."  
  
  
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~  
Meanwhile yet again… (I'm going for an all-time high)  
  
  
  
"Bulma. If you don't let me out of this monkey cage of a capsule RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I'll blast your head off when I DO get out!!!" Piccolo tried to shake the cage and blast it's surface, but to no triumph.  
"LET ME OUT!!"  
  
"Now, now, Piccolo, that's assuming you WILL get out! Your death is a chance I'm willing to take."  
  
"WHAT THE..!!?? Curse you, Bulma!!!"  
  
"SHhhhh!! I'm working, here!"  
  
"What..? Oh, I am so gunna KILL you..." Piccolo scowled through his little window and bore his white porcelain-resembling fangs.  
  
  
Bulma smiled slyly and ran her fingers across a dial on the capsule holding Piccolo. With a wink at a scowling Namek through the window, she turned the knob to the number three.  
"Don't you worry... you won't feel a thing!"  
  
  
"FEEL A THING WHERE!?" A girlish voice hollered from atop the endlessly long lab stairway.  
"CW, no offense, but that's a really weird way to put it..." Another girly voice said quieter to her pal.  
"I KNOW Kitt, but what would YOU say? I mean, Bulma's doing who-knows-what to your anime love down there, and you're worried about DIALOGUE? Give me a break..."  
"Oh, right. Continue then!"  
  
Bulma sweat-dropped from below. "Don't worry!! It's for your own GOOD!"  
  
"WHAT'S FOR OUR OWN GOOD!?"  
"See, I would have said there..."  
"Kitt, it's not the time, okay?"  
"RIGHT! Sorry."  
  
Bulma sweat-dropped again. "You'll see!"  
  
"NO! I don't TRUST you, Bulma!! Hey, why should I...? You're married to that stuck-up non-appreciative "don't marry my brat" Vegeta!! RELEASE THE GREEN BEAN NOW!!"  
  
Piccolo screamed through his window something about not being called that, but fogged up the glass instead.  
  
"IT'S TOO LATE!!"  
Bulma cackled and pushed the "Push me!" button on the capsule.  
  
Just then, the other three Piccolo freaks, Nikki, Katie, and Jess stumbled into the room, knocking over CW and Kitt as they did so, causing a domino affect, thus resulting in FIVE AUTHORESSES TOPPLING DOWN THE STAIRS!!  
  
"OW!"  
"EE!"  
"STEP, OWOWOW!!"  
"Ah CRAP!"  
"MY HAIR!!"  
  
While the authoresses were busy being inflicted with slams and blows to the staircase, MAGICALLY not falling off of it, the capsule machine whirred noisily below.  
  
"IT'S WORKING! IT'S WORKING!! AAAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA!!" Bulma's maniacal ingenious laughter ensued, echoing through the laboratory like Batman's cave. (Or, as mentioned before, Goku's head.)  
  
DD just then poked her head into the doorway, the last one on the TOP of the staircase, and spotted her fellow authoresses.   
"Oh fer cryin' out loud... what a bunch of klutzes... sheesh, I mean they can't even keep safe without my supervisi--"   
  
Just then, DD tripped over her own shoelaces and fell down the endlessly long stairway as well.  
"AAAH!!! WHAT THE-"  
  
  
"GET AWAY FROM ME, FEMALE MANIAC!!!" Vegeta as well ran into the room, due to Molly chasing behind him with big heart eyes.  
  
"But I LOVE you, Veggie!!"   
  
Vegeta abruptly stopped at the beginning edge of the crazy dragnabid staircase, and Molly rammed right into him, not yet perfecting her "I'm chasing an anime character!!" brakes.  
  
"OOF!"  
"EEE!!!"  
  
Them too fell down the stairs!!  
  
  
The original five fallers were reaching the end, and CW landed first and sighed. "Thank heavens, it's over..."  
Unfortunately, it was not over, and Kittioto fell on top of CW's belly, making her "OOF!"  
Soon followed Nikki, on top of Kitt's legs, with a yowl, then Katie, landing on Nikki's arm with a screech. Then Jess on all four of them, square in the midsection, causing them all to bite their lips so as to avoid screaming bloody murder.  
  
All of them muttered painfully, and tried to get up... but then... DD landed...  
  
"OW!!" - Right on about four legs and an arm.  
  
"I'M-GUNNA-KILL-SOMETHIN--" Vegeta hollered, tangled in Molly's limbs, still toppling down the stairs.  
  
"QUICK, QUICK, EVERYONE GET-OOFFFF!!!" CW begged, being the one with the most people on her. "I'll never eat sugar again, just GET OFF!!!"  
  
Try though they might, Vegeta and Molly crashed onto the living pile of sore limbs and knotted hair, Vegeta first, crushing them ALL, ON HIS BELLY, and Molly landing square on his back.  
Chessie moaned from the bottom, followed immediately by Kitt's and Nikki's, AND Katie's, AND Jess', AND DD's pained answering moans.  
  
"Get... offa me... NOW..." Chessie moaned again.  
Molly, dazed, looked up at a clearly amused Bulma. "Hey Bulma? If I take Vegeta away from you, does that mean I get custody of Trunks, too?"  
  
Bulma's eyes grew wide, her expression turning angry. In answer to Molly's question, leaped onto the pile.  
  
  
-~-~-~  
Many broken ribs and bandages later...  
  
  
  
"ISN'T ANYONE GOING TO LET ME OUT!!??" The gruff though muffled voice screamed inside of the capsule, banging on the walls like a madman.  
  
Everyone, now OFF of each other, stared at the white capsule. "PICCO-CHAN!" Kitt screeched and pushed the other "Push me!" button.   
Immediately the door opened, and out tumbled 'Picco-chan'.  
  
"Picco-chan, are you okay!?? I hope we didn't keep you too long, did you get hurt or... ... or.... uh..." Kitt blinked, along with everyone else except for Bulma, who was just standing there, grinning maliciously, casting the occasional glare at Molly.  
  
"Picco... chans?"  
  
Poor Mr. Piccolo turned his head around and his eyes grew wider than his skull could POSSIBLY allow.   
"That... isn't right."  
  
For, behind our favorite Namek, beheld three other identical Nameks. Right down to the lean muscles and purple gi, three exact copies of himself.  
  
"YOU CLONED ME!!??" Piccolo shrieked at Bulma, whipping to her suddenly, picking her up and shaking her by the collar.  
  
"YUP! They're not EXACT though..."  
  
"What do you mean by that!?"  
  
Bulma grinned maliciously once again. "You'll see."  
  
"I'll see NOTHING!! TELL ME YOU FOOL!!!"  
  
Katie tapped Piccolo's shoulder and he spun around, still holding Bulma by her lab-coat collar.  
"WHAT!??"  
  
"Um... sorry, Piccolo, sir... but I think we already found out..." Katie then turned around and pointed at one of the Piccolo's and Nikki.  
  
The 'clone' of Piccolo (Piccolo #2) touched Nikki's arm and smiled charmingly. "So... whatcha doin' this Saturday, cutie?"  
Nikki blushed and dragged her foot. "Oh... I dunno... what are YOU doing?" Nikki batted her eyes at 2, and smiled brightly.  
"Oh... I dunno... hang out... have a water... boring really... you're not BUSY, are you?"  
"Oh... I dunno... I was really looking forward to this concert thing..."  
"Need an escort?" 2 replied smoothly, flashing a wicked grin.  
  
  
"OH MY KAMI!!!" The REAL Piccolo yelled quite loudly, all things considered. "HOW COULD YOU!??"  
He then resumed scowling at Bulma, holding her higher in the air. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME!!??"  
  
"I didn't do ANYTHING to YOU!" Bulma replied defensively. "Just to your duplicates!! ... Pretty cool, huh?"  
  
Piccolo looked absolutely HORRIFIED and dropped Bulma.  
"My life as we know it, is over."  
  
"It's okay, Piccolo..." Jess mysteriously appeared next to him, and patted his shoulder, trying to be sympathetic. "At least now we won't fight over you!!"  
  
"It's over. It's allll over. I am doomed."  
  
However, Kitt and now Katie were busy drooling over the other two clones from a distance. Molly was staring at a scowling Vegeta, CW was busy attending her previous wounds, and DD just stared ahead of her.  
"Hey... can you do that to Trunks, too?" DD asked Bulma, turning to her.  
  
"MY Trunks!? NO WAY!"  
  
Real Piccolo scowled at Bulma horribly. "What am I, chop liver?"  
Jesscheaux fought the powerful urge to give Piccolo a hug. *Poor guy!! Nothing but a guinea pig... aw, he's so misunderstood...*  
  
"I heard those thoughts." Piccolo scowled down at Jess now.  
  
Jesscheaux blushed. "Well... it's true, isn't it? Heehee..."  
  
  
On the other end of the room, Katie finally mustered up enough courage to go up to another one of the clones. *Well, if he's anything like Nikki's, this should be a piece of cake!! It's not exactly the original, but what the hey!*  
  
"Hiya." Katie said with a flashing smile at Piccolo(#4).  
"... Yo." 4 said emotionlessly at Katie.  
Katie, getting the hint of slang, smiled at the notable difference.   
  
"Wazzup my man!??" She said in a slight street-punk accent, whipping out a high-five.  
"Hey, not bad dudette!!" 4 high-fived in return and nodded like a rapper or something. "Like, wazzup today, girl?"  
"Let's party!"  
"Sure thing, boogy down, baby, boogy!"  
"Now that's what I'M talkin' about! BOOYA!" With that, Katie turned around a moment and winked an EEEEEVILLLL wink at her fellow authoresses, and 4 grunge-walked outta there with her.  
  
  
… BOOYA!!  
  
  
Real Piccolo smacked his forehead and shook his head in frustration. "This is chaos..."  
Jess gave up and wrapped her arms around him in a big hug, causing Piccolo's eyes to bulge NATURALLY, but just stood there like a cow staring at an on-coming train. Uncomfortably at an on-coming train.  
"... Chaos..."  
  
The remaining two, Kittioto and Piccolo #3, just stared at each other and blushed.  
  
"Um... hi." 3 blinked and stared at the ground.  
"Yeah, hi." Kittioto blinked and stared at the ground.  
  
CW suddenly appeared behind Kitt with a MALICIOUS grin and SHOVED her into 3.  
  
"AYEEAH!!!"  
"GAH, I'M TOUCHING A HUMAN FEMALE!!"  
  
Both ran to separate corners of the room blushing and panting like they just faced the grim reaper and survived.  
  
DD walked over to CW and looked at her suspiciously, CW still grinning quite evilly. "Why'd you do that, Chestnut Wind?"  
"Felt like it. COME ON!! If I didn't do something they'd just STARE at each other for another five – and a HALF - years!!"  
"Good point. Now they're not looking at each other at ALL!" DarkDragon grinned and patted CW's shoulder, both of them laughing like maniacs. Just then...  
  
"OW!!! OOOF! AAAAAHHHH!!!" Mirai was now falling down the stairs, giving the two authoresses JUST enough time to look behind them before he fell right on 'em, squashing the two girls like mud-puddy on a hot summer day.  
  
Mirai, now on top of the only two people he was worse off being on top of at the moment, screamed again.  
  
"HE'S MINE, CW!!"  
"NEVAHHH!!!!"  
"NooOOoOOOoooo!!"  
  
  
To be continued! ~_^  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N3: WAAAHAHAHAHHAHAA!!! Am I evil, or am I evil? I love this. ^_^ Okie, now, if ANY of the authoresses don't like something in this, I'll change it!! So DO NOT be afraid to ask!! ^_^** Aside from that... didja like?? Diiiidja??? I hope so! Make sure to tell me if you did or not in a REVIEW!!! Be a GOOD lil authoress/reader/whatever and do you DUTY!!! ~Plays dramatic music~  
  
  
~~~~ 


	5. Cupid Hits Gold

A/N: (This is rather LONG, by the way…)  
  
Kitt: Well, first of all… I just wanted to say thanks, guys!!! Authoresses, Authors, Reviewers… you've been very supportive!! ^_^ I'm glad you've all liked this so far… and hopefully it will only improve! But eh… don't like… stake all your hopes and dreams on it or anything. ~Nudge nudge~ … SHEESH, don't act so worried, I was JUST KIDDING!! ~Rolls eyes~ Oh, and sense you asked so nicely, Catgirl_13… I thought I'd give you an exclusive and oh so very special part of my story!! … THE A/N!!!  
Catgirl_13: … What…? That's all I get!? Well, sheesh, thanks a LOT…  
Kitt: I'm sorry, really, but I ONLY allow authoresses in this story! Really, it's true…!  
Catgirl_13: ~Turns head aside and becomes fascinated with the wall~  
Kitt: … ~Sweatdrops~ … Okay, well… would it make you feel better if I let you say hi to Piccolo and his clones..?  
Catgirl_13: ~GASPS~ YOU'D DO THAT FOR ME!!??  
Kitt: SURE! Which one you wanna talk to?  
Catgirl_13: Oh my… so many choices… so little time…  
Kitt: This is true. ~Taps watch~  
Catgirl_13: 0.o Um, um… ALL OF THEM!!  
Kitt: OoOOoh, commendable! Brave choice there. Alright – come on out, Piccolo…! Sss…!!!  
Piccolo: What? Oh… wait, who's that!?? ~Looks at Catgirl~ OH PLEASE NO, NOT ANOTHER GIRL!!! You're EVIL, you know that!? EVIL!  
Catgirl_13: HIYA PICCOLO!! ~Waves angelically~ You rock! ~Wink Wink~  
Piccolo: ~Slaps forehead~  
Piccolo #4: Yo, where's Katie…?  
Catgirl_13: Hi Piccolo4!!  
P4: Ello, whaaaa??? DUDE, my name is Piccolo, man… like, PICCOLO. No number 4. PEACE OUT!!! ~Rock stance~  
Kitt: ~Desperately trying to not laugh~  
P2: …   
Catgirl_13: OH! Hi Piccolo2!! ~Waves~  
P2: You… whom ever my eyes have been graced to see… are a vision.  
Catgirl_13: ~Blushes~ Reeaally?  
P2: But of course, my lady… however, I am currently courting another young woman.  
P4: HEY!! Old English GUY, though I gotta' admit you're pretty spiffe' lookin'… stay away from ma' girl!  
P2: Fear not, young one… I do not desire the one whom you call Katie Yuy. For my love is indefinitely yet another…  
Mikey: Hey, room for one more in here…?  
Kitt: ~Points at Mikey~ AHH!!! How'd you get in here!?  
Mikey: ~Glances over to the Customer Service counter~ They… told me three rooms to the right…  
Kitt: ~Slaps forehead~ Well, couldn't hurt. ^_^** HI MIKEY!!  
Mikey: Heya "Kitt"!  
Kitt: ~Snickers~  
  
Catgirl_13: ~Is currently ignoring the real people~ So Piccolo…s… um, are you SURE there's no room for me in this fic…? I mean, I REALLY wouldn't mind hangin' around you guys.  
Piccolo: YES. WE'RE SURE. ALLLLL OUT OF SPACE.  
P2: Don't be absurd! I'm sure we can arrange SOMETHING, doll…  
P4: Yah, y'know, dunno 'bout that, it's getting' kinna' crowded if ya know what I mean…  
Piccolo: YES. VERY crowded. VERY.  
P3: ~Has just been standing there gawking at Mikey and Kitt this whole time~  
Kitt: Uh… this is getting AWKWARD, people!! There's too many people in this room… ~looks rather eerie~   
MTrunks: What room?  
Kitt: HOW'D YOU GET HERE!!??? Oh come ON!  
Catgirl_13: Hi Trunks!!  
MTrunks: This is a fanfic, I thought… there's no ROOMS in fanfics… only… text…  
Kitt: HEY! Watch what you say about text! Text is… beaaautiful…  
Mikey: ~Blushes~  
Kitt: ~Stares at Mikey~ …What?  
Mikey: ~Is having fun blushing~  
Kitt: Hey… cut it out… that's MY job…  
Mikey: OH!! Right. ~Immediately stops~  
Kitt: Um. 0.o** ALRIGHT THEN!! Now, before this room gets any more crowded let's start th-  
Goku: HEY EVERYONE!!!!  
Catgirl_13: Oh. Hi Goku. ~Isn't interested~  
Vegeta: KAKKAROT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!??  
Goku: EATING!  
Kitt: NOOOOO!! STOP this insanity, the Authoresses' Note is becoming TOO LONG!  
Mikey: … It is rather long, isn't it…  
Kitt: Yes it is! *Good, SOMEONE agrees with me!*  
Catgirl_13: Can I at least hug a Piccolo before I go!!??  
Kitt: Oh alright!  
Catgirl_13: ~Hugs a Piccolo or four~  
Krillin: ~Nasal voice~ Waazzuppp!!??  
Mikey: ~Eyelid twitches at the appearance of Krillin~ Must… not… destroy… aaaAaarRrrr…  
Kitt: Okay, TIME TO GO!! Before someone loses there mind (further) from lack of oxygen, preferably…!   
~__~  
Disclaimer: The usual. All mine. NOT. I don't own Piccolo, Bulma, Trunks, Mirai Trunks, Catgirl_13, Mikey(yet – OOPS, DID I JUST SAY THAT!!??), Goku, Krillin, Vegeta, or uh… uh… Nikki I LOVE PICCOLO, Chestnut Wind, Jesscheaux, ANIME/GAME^Angel^MOLLY Saiyan (AKA Molly), DarkDragon, Katie Yuy, or anyone else!!!! This is far, far too many names to remember for a pitiful mortal mind such as my own. 0.o** However, I DO own me(Kittioto), Piccolo's Clones(2, 3, and 4) and this very disclaimer belongs to ME!! ~Is actually TIRED from writing this disclaimer~ So come on, get happy!!! (Partridge Family moment… … I don't own them, either…)  
  
The Authoresses Of DBZ  
Chapter 5: Cupid Hits Gold  
Finish Date: 9-2-02  
By Kittioto  
  
  
~__~  
  
  
  
Trunks. The oh… SO desired Trunks, crouched defensively in his corner, all Saiyan pride long gone. The horror – the MALICE! The absolute TERROR of the situation!! Stalked by insane "Journalist" people, barraged with a slew of flattering statements, heart-shaped eyes, and winks the size of Texas! Yes, we should all be grateful we don't have to endure such a fate.   
  
  
Dagger-like glares were tossed through the air between DarkDragon and Chestnut Wind, whom were standing a distance away, but close enough to see the insane determination in each other's eyes.   
The competition fierce, the cost of losing high.  
Squinting her eyes, DD scowled even more aggressively, darkened glare shrouding the normal liveliness in her eyes.  
"… The 'good old fashioned way' isn't getting us far here, CW…"  
  
CW nodded in agreement, her own brown eyes darkened by the impossibly competitive mood she was in. A stubborn Saiyan at heart, determined to have her way in this matter.  
  
"… You and I only have but one way of settling this… I think you know the method I speak of." DD continued, not taking her eyes off of the blonde authoress in front of her, both equally as bound to take their prize.  
  
CW nodded again. "Of course. Let's… battle." Smirk tugged at crimson lips, the exhilaration taking over with instinct inside her veins, being the powerful writer she was.  
DD licked her own lips in anticipation, and took a step closer to CW, glint in eye and all.  
  
"So be it."  
  
Then, at the same time, DarkDragon and Chestnut Wind both LASHED out with their fists, making their move – this was not friendly competition, this was not a game… this was WAR!!  
  
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS! ROCK, PAPER SCISSORS!!"  
  
  
Kittioto couldn't help but gasp in horror at the gory sight. "NO, stop it, just STOP IT!!"  
  
  
Rock lunged at Scissors, and DD's hand fell helplessly to her side, then, angered, clenched into a fist. "You may have won the first round, but this doesn't end until we reach TEN!!"  
The cocky quirk plastered on CW's royal smirk said all, however, and it angered DD only further. "My friend, you've already lost…"  
  
"ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS!!!!"  
"OH, I CAN'T WATCH!" Kitt covered her eyes at the horror of it all.   
  
  
~___~  
Meanwhile somewhere else… of course… why else would I do a meanwhile thing? I mean, what do you think I AM, STUPID? You DO, don't you!! Yeah – I know your type! Oh wait – what's that you say…? You already knew I meant somewhere else..? Well… okay. I'll let you get away with it THIS time.  
  
Ahem, MEANWHILE…  
  
  
  
"Oh, Nikki… your eyes, your face, your very essence… your… smell. It intoxicates me, my love."  
Nikki batted her eyes in reply. "Really?"  
  
Nikki and Piccolo(#2) were sharing a romantic moment watching the sun go down over the horizon atop one of CC's beautiful balconies.   
  
"Words cannot describe the emotions I feel this wonderful evening… tell me, Nikki… may I kiss you?"  
Nikki smiled REAL BIG. *THIS IS TOO COOL!! I hardly had to bat my eyes and he's already begging for a kiss!! Ahh, thank goodness for modern technology… works wonders.*   
"Piccolo… you're so wonderful… kiss me, you fool!"  
  
Oddly enough, instead of the suspected Gone With The Wind theme music to start playing, Piccolo and Nikki heard… ALTERNATIVE!!??  
  
"YO, GET OUTTA THE WAY, FOO'S!!" Followed by these words soon came Piccolo4's frame bounding onto the balcony, grasping Katie Yuy's hand, and followed by a VERY angry Vegeta.  
  
"GET BACK HERE YOU GREEN-SKINNED IGUANA-SLUG FREAK!!!!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!"  
  
Unfortunately, this occurrence COMPLETELY threw off the whole romantic sunset theme, and Piccolo4, Boombox in one hand, Katie in the other, lunged the whole gang INCLUDING Piccolo2 and Nikki off of the balcony.   
  
"OW!"  
"OOF!"  
"Blimey!!"  
"Dude…"  
  
Katie quickly leaned over and shut off the boombox that was blaring volumes loud enough to bust a Namek's eardrums, and they all ducked under the balcony's edge.  
Vegeta was quickly shown leaning on the balcony's railing, trying to find out where his mischievous trouble-making party-goers had gone.  
  
"VEGGIE-SAMA!! Where aaaarrree you??"  
  
The four looked up to see Vegeta's face grow remarkably pale.  
"Oh crap!! I'm being stalked again!! … WOMEN!"  
  
Molly's voice could be heard coming closer and closer by the minute.   
"I KNOW you're over here!"  
  
"She's getting closer…!" In a desperate attempt to avoid being tackled by yet ANOTHER authoress, Vegeta leaped over the balcony railing, and ducked under it to find… some very… familiar… faces.  
"IT'S YOU!!" The enraged Saiyan Prince started to grow purple, whilst both Piccolo's accompanied by Katie and Nikki looked a little more than terrified.  
  
"Whatever this dashing young Namek did, kind sir, I assure you I was not part of it!"  
"Yeah, what he said!!"  
Nikki and 4 nodded at each other, then looked back at the Prince nervously.  
  
"OH, I GET IT!! SOOOO, YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST HIT AND RUN, HUH!!??? Well not today!! TODAY you DI-"  
  
"VEGGIE-SAMA, ARE YOU ON THE BALCONY!?? You silly Saiyan, you!"  
  
Vegeta's anger quickly turned to mortal fear, Saiyan pride brought down to it's knees. "Everybody, shut up, and I'll CONSIDER sparing you!!" Asparagus shoved himself quickly against CC's wall, hoping in blatant desperation that he'd somehow meld with the shadows.  
  
"Veggie-chan…?" Molly poked her head out onto the balcony, the rest of her frame still inside. "That's funny, I could have SWORN I saw him run through here… oh well, no matter. He will be mine," Molly smirked and seemed to look at nothingness a moment, evilness showing through every fiber of her being. "Oh yes. He will be mine. Mwahahahhahaahhaa!!!!"  
As Molly left, Vegeta sighed a huge sigh of relief.  
  
"I'm alive!! Yes, the Prince of all Saiyans has been redeemed once again!!! BWAAAAHHAHAHAA!!!"  
  
Piccolo 2, 4, and the authoresses all looked at him a little funny.  
  
Vegeta seemed to catch the glances and smirked a bit. "… You're just jealous!!"  
  
"Yo, man… are you high or something?"  
  
This accusation from Piccolo4 was met with an EXTREMELY angry glare.  
"And YOU!!" Vegeta was angry once more! "How DARE you slip chili into my favorite Teddy Bea – er, I mean, the pathetic Earth Predator socks that the woman makes me wear!??"  
  
Katie couldn't help but snicker, being there when it all went down.  
  
"And the JOURNALIST! I shall kill her as well!"  
4 suddenly grew MUCH more serious and stood up straighter, matching his full Namekian height – at least three feet taller than the so-called "Prince of Saiyans".  
"Don't mess with my woman, man!"  
"I'll 'mess' with WHOMEVER I please!!"  
"Don't mess, with my WOMAN, man."  
"OoOOooh, is the little green-freak Piccolo look-alike getting angry!?" Veggie mocked, throwing his head back and laughing maniacally.  
  
"DON'T MESS WITH MY WOMAN, MAN!!!!!!!!" 4 lunged for Vegeta, tackling his hair immediately, sending the Prince off-guard, whilst the elegant clone number 2 and Nikki stared on helplessly.  
  
Katie looked like she just choked on a horse-shoe. "PICCOLO!! BE CAREFUL!"   
  
"Um… deary…?"  
"Yes, Piccolo2..?"  
"Do you believe it to be wise… to… perhaps… leave?"  
"I think I do."  
  
With that, Nikki and 2 snuck off to leave Piccolo4, Katie, and the boombox which had now been turned on accidentally when Vegeta bit 4 causing him to roll on top of the power switch.  
  
"DON'T MESS!!"  
"YOU FOOL!!! …????!!! I'M THE PRINCE OF ALL SAIYANS!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
~__~  
Back at the lab…  
  
  
  
"Violence is not the answer, girls!!" Jesscheax shouted, speaking up for the millionth time.  
CW turned her head long enough to miss her turn.  
  
"LOSER!" DD gloated with a vibrant smile.  
"WHAT!!?? That's not FAIR!"  
"Nobody said life was fair, hun."  
"You sicken me!"  
"BACK AT YA'!"  
"You sicken me more!!" CW stuck out her tongue and put her hands on her hips.  
"Do not!"  
"Do too!!"  
"Do NOT!!"  
"DO TOO!!"  
"Do not times TWO!! THERE!! AHAHAH!!!"  
"Do too times THREE! Harharhar!"  
"Do not times a BILLION MILLION TRILLION QUADRILLIAN, and that's final!" DD now folded her arms, looking smug.  
"OH, yeah!!?? I can top that! DO TOO times INFI-"  
"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!"  
  
Both authoresses were abruptly silenced by the beloved heart-melting vocals of the ORIGINAL Piccolo. Kittioto swooned. Jesscheaxed swooned MORE.   
(Kittioto ~Reading and writing at the same time~: Did not!  
Jesscheax ~Reading the strange chapter~: Did TOO! DON'T argue!  
Kitt: Okay, you win. Don't hurt me.  
Jesscheax: ~Smiles angelically~)  
Both however, formed the traditional heart-shaped eyes and whispered identical phrases.  
"Pikkoro-san Daisuki… heeeeeee…"  
  
Piccolo looked down at the two and shook his head. The hug he'd received earlier not forgotten, but currently ignored.  
  
"Um… so… DD…" CW scratched her head, not wanting to anger the focus of the fanfic.  
"Now WHAT?"  
"Er… who won?"  
  
DarkDragon blinked. "That's EASY! I did, of course!"  
"Oh RIGHT!! Yeah – you just want Trunks for yourself, huh!?"  
"Is that the way it's gunna be, CW!? I wouldn't LIE!"  
"So tell the truth!"  
"I DID! You asked ME who won, so how would you know, anyway!?"  
  
"FOR THE LOVE OF PEACE AND QUIET, DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO SHUT UP!!??"  
  
DD and CW looked back over to the Namekian again. Behind him stood a disturbingly quiet identical Namek, clone number 3.  
  
"Both of you LOST, happy now!?"  
  
DD blinked. CW blinked. Jess blinked. Kitt blinked. 3 blinked. They ALL blinked.  
"What…?"  
  
Slapping his palm over his eyes and bowing his head slightly, Piccolo grunted at the stupidity of it all. "Chestnut Wind won five, DarkDragon won the other five…"  
  
OOooh. Bummer.  
  
"Um…" DarkDragon turned once again to look at her competition. "… Good for another 5 rounds…?"  
  
Piccolo whipped his hand off of his face and growled in utter agitation. "NO!! There will be NO MORE GAMES!"  
  
OOooh. Bummer.  
  
"Okay, now you're all just STANDING there! Like a… like a herd of cattle or something, just waiting to be prodded to the slaughter house! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!!??"  
  
Everyone in the room continued to stare at Piccolo.  
With a sigh, the Namek closed his eyes and put his palm back over them. "Insanity, insanity…"  
  
"Mr. Piccolo, are you okay…?"  
Piccolo opened his eyes to see the innocent looking face of Jess, staring up at him.  
"OKAY? Am I OKAY? No. I am NOT okay."  
Jesscheaux pondered over this for a moment before speaking up again.  
"Is there… anything I can do to make you okay…?"  
Piccolo groaned and covered his eyes again. "No."  
A thoughtful look swarmed Jess' features as a daring idea reached her! That's right – before Piccolo knew what had happened she'd latched herself onto Piccolo in another hug!  
Piccolo's arms dropped to his side and he stared wide-eyed at the authoress below. "What are… you DOING?"  
"It's called a hug, silly!!" Jesscheax grinned up at him.  
"Uh…" The Namek seemed to look torn for a moment whilst his cheeks turned a deep purplish color before simply giving up, figuring he wouldn't be able to pry her off anyway, and stared at the ceiling.   
  
Jesscheax snickered and turned back to an EXTREMELY jealous looking Kittioto, and mouthed off to Kitt territorially 'mine!' with a smirk, still latched onto the mighty warrior.  
  
*She can't do this to me!!* Kittioto thought silently. *This is MY fanfic! MINE!!!* Then, as if her brain woke up for the first time in YEARS, an idea stuck her as well!  
*Mwaaahahaha… this IS my fanfic, yes yes… mwaaahahaha…*  
  
An unsuspecting Piccolo3 was then ambushed by a slightly deranged authoress, heart eyes and all.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!" Screams of horror. Screams of disbelief. The alarmingly girlish scream of…  
Piccolo's third clone.  
  
  
~__~  
Two minutes later… is it just me or am I dragging this out..?  
  
  
  
"Think you killed him..?" Jess about thirty seconds ago had detached herself from an extremely embarrassed looking Piccolo.  
"I don't know… doesn't anyone here know CPR?" Kittioto looked up at Piccolo hopefully.  
"Don't EVEN!! He looks just like me!"  
DD chuckled. "So you shouldn't be embarrassed!"  
"Shut up!"  
CW now chuckled. "It's just a CLONE!"  
"You too!"  
"I hope I didn't kill him… maybe a… a stroke or something…" Kitt bent down next to limp number 3. "Poor guy!"  
"Hey, did has anyone checked his pulse yet?" Jess spoke up again, looking around at her comrades.   
CW shook her head. "NOPE!! Who wants to do it?"  
"Not me!" DD shook her head.  
"I don't want to hurt him again!!" Kitt shook her head as well.  
"I vow to not touch any other Piccolo for as long as I live…" Jess stared on at the original, continually starry eyed.  
Piccolo glared – somewhat softly – back. "I am NOT checking MY OWN pulse."  
"Well I'm not doin' it!" CW chimed in.  
  
Kitt glanced at her in confusion. "What's YOUR excuse?"   
"Unfortunately I have none."  
"… Oh."  
DarkDragon sighed rather loudly. "Well SOMEONE has to do it!!"  
  
Just then, almost as if a light bulb appeared over every character's head aside from the unconscious, they all turned to look at Trunks.  
  
Mirai looked back. "What…?"  
  
  
~__~  
Two more minutes later… yaaay…  
  
  
"OKAY, OKAY, STOP PUSHING!! Yeesh, I'll check the pulse already, good grief!"  
Mirai was nudged quite ROUGHLY by four rather persistent and determined authoresses.  
  
"Good, now is he alive!!??"  
  
The purple haired wonder dude leaned down next to the limp form begrudgingly, and picked up the wrist, carefully placing his index and middle finger on the most obvious vein.   
  
"Is he dead!??" Kittioto yelped in panic.   
Trunks looked back up at her solemnly, and shook his head. "I'm sorry, Kitt, but… yes. Ah, you hate to see things like this happen…"  
  
Kitt's eyes started to well up. "IT'S ALL MY FAULT!! I… I KILLED PICCOOOLLOOOOOO!!! WHAAAA!!"  
  
"… Just kiddin'!!"  
  
The authoress in hysterics abruptly stopped crying and stared at Trunks. "What?"  
"Um… he's not dead, I was just messin'!!"  
"JUST MESSIN!!??? JUST… MESSIN!!?? I'LL SHOW YOU A 'MESS'!!!"  
  
Only but moments later the room was filled with noise.  
  
"Kitt, let go of Trunksie-poo!!! IT WAS A JOKE!!"  
"AND I LAUGHED SOOOO HARD!!"  
"OW, MY HAIR!"  
"CW, hands off my Trunks!"  
"YOU WANNA PICK A FIGHT WITH ME, DD!!??"  
"Fighting is not the answer!!"  
"HOW CAN NAILS BE SO PAINFUL!!??"  
"GET HER OFF!!"  
  
While this was all going on, much to the authoresses' and Trunks' ignorance, someone regained consciousness.   
Piccolo stared down at a very confused looking… self.  
3 blinked up at him.  
Piccolo nodded. "Get out, while you still can."  
"I will never forget you for this!" 3 whispered back and slowly, stealthily, SILENTLY, crept away into the shadows…  
  
  
  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End! (Not really…)  
  
  
End A/N: That was a rather odd chapter, huh? I hope that was worth the wait… I know it's kinda short… I'm sorry, humor isn't ALWAYS easy to come up with!! ~Whine whine whine~ Errrrr, okie. ^_^** OH!! And before I forget, here you go Catgirl_13, for being a good sport!!   
~Tosses Catgirl a cute little Piccolo plushie~  
  
Catgirl_13: Wow, thanks!! ~Cuddles it~  
  
Kittioto: Awww, I love happy endings!!! … Hey, where'd Piccolo3 go..!???  
  
MTrunks: He ran away in fear and desperation…  
Kitt: No, it t'isn't true!! NOOOOO!!! ~Sulks~  
MTrunks: … And he'll be back, I get the feeling…  
Kitt: That's why I'M the writer. ~Wiggles eyebrows~ Until next time, folks!! HYUK!  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


End file.
